26 Mar 09

I managed to took some photo of his sms again...

This time, I found that he sent an sms to a gal (I have confirmed it's a gal as I tried calling that hp) asking her if she is free. She replied with an address. That was 52mins after he left for his job!

I asked him about his task last nite since he only came back at 2am in the morning and he told me he was waiting over at the site most of the time!

I was quite happy to receive his sms today saying to pick me up from work....but too bad he alighted halfway and went to work. I called his hp at 10pm, he is working and says that he will sms me when coming back...

I'm in a confused state of mind....felt betrayed but at the same time seeing him doing his part..... Is this considered the state where he is in the midst of changing but still can't let go of his thirst- quench habits?

25 Mar 09

I saw my Cecilia today.....

I was told that my task is to love myself more. Be firm and assertive.
I need to change my compromising character and speak out more.

I did try but it was really tiring and the Cecilia says it's normal as it's against my nature. She wanted me to try to compliment him more so as to show some appreciation of his effort.

I will try......

Hitting him again?

He is working full day today and told me his job would end at 9pm today.

I have arranged to go to West Coast Park with my parents and bro's family. I did not tell him about my plan. He didn't ask.....then he started scolding my girl for wearing such ugly clothes. My girl told him that mommy told her to wear a short skirt over her 3/4 tights to prevent her white tights from turning black. I re-inforced what my girl said and I got scolded by him. He shouted that "That's why I'm telling you it's damn ugly!"

I ignored his words and didn't get my girl to change her clothes. She didn't have any other pants except jeans. So I don't bother and anyway, it's a trend nowadays to wear skirts over tights.

While getting ready to go out (sending him to work first), my kids fight....apparently over a toy binoculars which my girl found. Two of them were snatching and my boy started pulling my girl's hair. MY husband was quite angry over it and started scolding my girl, asking her f she knows why her bro pulls her hair. She doesn't...

As we were getting ready to go out, my boy suddenly cried and ran into the room looking for me. I was in the room taking their socks. When my girl came into the room, I asked her what happened and she told me daddy beat him with the glass bottle that daddy drinks his beer.

Shocked but unsure what she really meant, I went out to ask him about the bottle thing. He brushed me off angrily say, "what bottle? don't have lah". Didn't want to pursue further in case he would be late for his job, we left the house.

In the car, my husband kept asking my girl why she allows others to bully her and if she don't find out why she was being bullied (like what her bro did just now), she would be caned! My gosh! Is that a threat to my girl? Is that so serious that we need to threaten her?

I'm getting worried....when is he losing his control....